61. Pillow Talk, page posted 2/2/11

Page 13 of 61

Pillow Talk — Page 13

This chapter was remade for the Bittersweet Candy Bowl Omnibus. The updated version will appear on the site later.

Author commentary

Veronica: This section was very heavily rewritten for the omnibus!!!!

I REALLY didn’t like how overt Rachel was about Paulo’s sex life in the original script. It almost felt like Lucy was getting mad that Rachel lied and said Paulo was terrible in bed???? I wanted Lucy to be angry because they used Paulo and treated him like a prop, not about his sexual performance. The old dialogue missed the mark.

This makes Rachel look much meaner and dismissive as well, which makes Lucy’s anger a lot more understandable.

I felt the other issue with Rachel’s old dialogue is that it seemed like she was infodumping? It was a delicate balance of trying to get her to spill enough information, but not enough to just sound like an infodumper. What a page this was!

A preview of the upcoming BCB page.

Reader comments

Comment ID #145112

*Glob Glob Glob*
Lookit that Jazzie go all Ms. PacMan on that icecream!
And as much as she tries not to think about, what can she do?

Oh Jessica, you and your lesbo ways.

(Last but not least, Amaya can spawn popcorn at any given moment:FACT)

Ace February 2, 2011, 12:00 AM EST.

Comment ID #145168

I like how everyone besides Daisy is like “yeah this is normal”

JetFire February 2, 2011, 12:25 AM EST.

Comment ID #145452

Hahaha i just spotted the Mike plushie!!!

Bridgeotto February 3, 2011, 7:44 AM EST.

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